Posted August 3, 2011
Marriage Tips worth pondering
Even though married couples share an intimate life together, sometimes talking directly about sex can feel awkward. Learning Natural Family Planning gives you language and a daily routine to prompt those sensitive discussions. Try it. You’ll like it.
“Pray together! We pray at meals and before bed…sometimes he prays over me when he leaves for work in the morning—we pray for our marriage, our family/friends, and intentions.”
“We went on a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend and learned to communicate better using written dialogue. Somehow spending just 15 or 20 minutes a day sharing our feelings creates amazing intimacy.”
Happiness #4. Happiness can be fleeting. Selfless love has the potential to carry a couple over the long haul and bring abiding joy. Is there some way you can be selfless today? Don’t aim for every day, just today.
Happiness #3. Living in poverty is no fun. Voluntary simplicity, however, can be satisfying, especially when a couple has goals of service that they explore together. It doesn’t mean you never splurge, but that “things” are not the ultimate source of joy in your relationship.
Happiness #2. Happiness is about more than laughter, but laughter heals and bonds. Laugh together today. Watch a funny TV program or movie, tell each other a silly joke, play a practical joke that won’t backfire, or reminisce about the crazy things you’ve done during your life together.
Happiness #1: As humans we all seek happiness, but what the world suggests will make us happy is often temporary bliss. A loving spouse can be a doorway to happiness, but being happy often results from giving it away. Bring some happiness to another today.
“The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant…finding a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all that he has and buys it” (Mt 13:45-46).Your spouse is like that pearl–priceless. Don’t let work, projects, hobbies, or even your children take first place.
Check out the ads in the paper today. List five things you don’t need. Bingo! You’ve reduced your consumer quotient. Free your family of unnecessary clutter and stuff.
“My husband and I have joined a coed gym and are learning the workouts side by side. Our plan is to support, encourage (and sometimes push) each other.”
Technology is wonderful when it works, but sometimes it works too well and robs couples of face time. Use tools like e-mailing, Facebook, and texting to connect with each other, not disconnect. A live spouse is better than a virtual one.
Marriage is a permanent commitment and ideally couples are able to live up to their vows. Sometimes, however, a widow(er) or divorced person finds love anew. Marriage is more complicated the second time around. Take advantage of programs for couples in a second marriage.
“For we do not know how to pray as we ought” (Romans 8:26). Many couples are afraid to pray together. It may feel like letting another into one’s private world. Try praying the “Our Father” together for a start.
Don’t rush to supply activities when your child whines, “I don’t have anything to do!” A certain amount of boredom is a pre-requisite for creativity. Besides, you can run yourself ragged trying to entertain a child 24-7. Save energy for your honey.
Be humble. Thank God every day for the blessing of your spouse.
Some spouses need to bite their tongues more; others need to loosen their tongues and share more. Which are you? With time, hopefully you become like Goldilocks and find the middle ground that is “just right.
“Your life is more than your work and your work is more than your job” (from the song by the same name by Charlie King). Is your job getting in the way of your family relationships? Both are important but as another song puts it, “Can’t buy me love.”
Marriage Challenge (41 years and up) Aches and pains are inevitable but remind yourself daily that you still have a spouse to love, and one who loves you.